wow

i luv my family

my ma pulled a good one on me. i told her i didnt want a graduation party and she gave me a surprise grad/18th birthday party despite my wishes. oh man i was so surprised when i walked in the door i didnt know what to do with myself... there was a good number of my moms friends, some family and important adults there that mean so much to me. i cant believe my mom took the time and energy to make invitations get addresses and phone numbers and go behind my back to make me feel so special. half my friends werent there but thats ok because i wasnt expecting it anyways. they were off in different states and on vacation but a phone call from jacky& D$ was so nice. my friends that were there Leeah<my oldest bestfriend played a good part in keeping my shindig on the DL. im so greatful she stook around so i wasnt alone on my actual birthday. Sarah& Sally came i was so happy louisa made me such a nice card with so many unnexpected, and heartfelt words=i luv Sally. Nicole came after she got out of work and brought Nickolay and they all stayed for a while. im so glad they stayed even tho the party was not as hype as the ones we usually attend ;) then we all went in Nicoles hot tub. that was necessary. i'm 18 now. in the eyes of the law im legal but at times i dont know if im ready for that title. im so glad i have a close group of friends. i've loved going to parties, meeting new people and getting to know and really see how the people i surround myself with act. to be honest sometimes it gets a little old. no doubt this has been the best summer, maybe the funnest year of my 18 on this earth but i think ive enjoyed it so much because im learning so much about myself. like ive stated before, i realize the person i want to be, the limits i set for myself and how i respond to certain situations by how other people come off. my friends for example, theres always gonna be some kind of drama/something about someone to talk about, but with me its not like its the high school, immature gossip that consumed a majority of all conversation. what everyone once obsessed themselves with (some afraid to admitt in attempt to be too cool. to me its always been concern more than gossip. if someone tells me about their problems i would ask someone else what i should do to help. one thing i cant stand is when my friends are upset/angry/mad or hurt. i honestly try so hard to do my best to say or do something to help the situation. sometimes i get so frustrated that i cant be that person that makes everything ok i get mad myself. it may seem as if im trying to start something else but its really not. i hope ppl know this. i think, i hope, i am the type of person thats easy to talk to. that people would feel comfortable telling me there troubles. i know im not a counselor or anything to that nature but i try to voice my opinion about it. is that wrong? weather they take what i say in to consideration or not i never mean to hurt any1's feelings. if i ever found out i hurt any of my friends feelings, i think i would have a break down! seriously id kill myself id only pray they'd let me know. im learning so much about myself i hope other people are noticing too and not getting it twisted... anyways... i think im going out with chris and meagan today so i should get ready